The Sweet Spot

How Low Can You Go!

  "From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back.  That is the point that must be reached". Kafka

There is no turning back in a startup company - there is never a moment when you don't feel like "you're this close to making it" and therefor the rough times must be endured, no matter how tough they are.  

Seriously, half your time is spent wondering if you've done the right thing and if you should just throw in the towel and walk away from the dream, but the lure of success is just too close and tangible to give up.  If you're married to a man whose entire being is wrapped up in this vision, don't ever expect him to give it up - no matter how bleak your life becomes, how much struggling your forced to endure.

How low can you go is the question you should ask yourself before embarking on this dream.  And are you willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING to get there.......

A Woman Needs a Man Like a Fish Needs a Bicycle!

  Expect the unexpected!

It's so typical that the worst recession in my lifetime would hit during the time after the LOI has been signed, but before funding has happened.  Life as a startup would simply be to easy if there were no bumps (maybe mountains would be more appropriate) along the way. 

Seriously....a recession???  I can't believe the drama!  8 weeks away from funding.  Major Banks and Investment Firms are crumbling.  What are the odds that this deal is going to go down as planned......UGHHHH!!

Blackberry vs. iPhone

Within a day of launching we have switched gears and gone from a start-up vision to the real-deal.  Meaning we celebrated for 1 day before wrapping our brain around the amount of work that now needs to be accomplished.

Still shocking that the development was complete on time (only 28 glitches) - incredibly satisfying to see a completed site - overwhelming amount of work now.....

Now I can see the difference between a free site (many available, we used Ning and loved them) and a paid-for site.  The free site was great and served it's purpose, the completed site is clean, crisp, has amazing graphics and video.  It's similar to the journey from using a blackberry cell phone (has tons of capable features) to an iphone (makes the blackberry seem obsolete). 

That's all for now....gotta go load content!

A Cheap High!

24 hours before the launch is totally cool!  Probably the best time since we began this insane journey.

Hubby is feeling crazy wild and we are totally high on life!!!  This is the best happy hour I've ever experienced - the long wait is almost over and the waiting game is super fun! 

Who cares if the site is a success or not, this day goes down as one of the best in history!

All the hard work is about to be unveiled on the net and I'm taking my own advice (posted in an earlier blog) - I'm stopping to enjoy the moment - no looking in the rear view mirror today or looking forward...we are going to make this moment last!

Ghetto Sheik.

A friend told me the following story:

A group of inner-city school children were given video cameras and asked to take them home and film their life for one week.  The producer then collected the cameras at the end of the project and made a little movie....what was shocking was the fact that these children lived in poverty - dirty old mattresses thrown on the floor, little food, poor living conditions, but almost all had expensive gadgets.....these videos showed large flat-screen tv's were a common splurge in the ghetto.  It's what we call Ghetto Sheik - you can't afford furniture, food & clothing, but you can afford a flat screen tv!!!

What's this got to do with startups you ask?  Well, when I listened to this story it made me think of how it is when you are starting an internet company and budgeting like crazy.  If you have read all my previous entries, and are still moving forward with your plans for a startup, get ready to budget like you are in a recession.  In our case, we have had investors along the journey, but they are not a definite and you never know when the next paycheck is coming.  Guess what the most dispensable item on the expense sheet is???  Hubby dearests paycheck.  Yes, developers, bill collectors, lawyers, etc. all get their payments before you can pay yourself (and most of the time the money has run out before you get to that point).  We have become quite the crafty family....I have made $100 last for several weeks, and then when a paycheck finally arrives....I feel like it must feel when you enter the world of Ghetto Sheik. 

It does make you appreciate money, and lack thereof!

8.8.8 is the Date.....

The Countdown has begun.....08.08.08 is the release date for the new website - all the hard work and effort finally is about to pay off.

My friends want a big party to celebrate the launch, hubby dearest wants to keep working hard and remain focused, and I want to fast forward 2 weeks to see the result of all this sacrifice and effort.  I am impatient and I want this company to open it's doors and start working.

Today hubby called me a pessimist (I am the only person on the team who doesn't truly believe this is all going down as planned), he said I have to get beyond my baggage....funny though, my pessimism is a direct result of this business.  There hasn't been one milestone that has been reached on the projected date and the web developers have more delays than one can imagine. 

I no longer get mad though - my response?  I state the obvious - "What came first, the chicken or the egg".  This business has made me a glass half-empty person. 

Internet Startup - Can't Get You Off My Mind!

I can't remember a time when our conversation didn't involve the development of website. 

Today we decided to leave it all behind and enjoy a family day at the beach.  As we sat on the beach, watching the children playing in the waves and enjoying the warm summer breeze, we were obsessed with the details of the launch of the site (which continues to be delayed). 

When you are developing your own website you are at the mercy of the developers.  You sit and wait for them to meet the deadlines, create code and deliver an image of your vision - can you say VULNERABLE?!?!?!  You must believe that the team you've hired can step up to the plate and deliver what they promise - so many of them simply can't, even though they will take your money and promise they can (we wasted way too much time and way too much money). 

The missing puzzle piece here is operating instructions - they simply don't exist!  It would be so much easier if someone could actually tell you how/when/what to expect....there are tons of experts, but very few mentors.  The best advice I've heard is this: there are 2 ways to launch an internet company - the first is that you spend lots of time, money and energy building it up (and you must take investors in to do it this way), refine it and launch it - the other way is to build a site quickly (with one of the new networks providing it for free - NING is so great!) throw it out there (no investors needed) and hope it sticks.  The first way can make BIG money and the second can make a few million. 

Either way is good for me!

Another Amazon.Com?

I vacillate between sheer desperation and pure excitement. There are days I think we are on the cutting edge of something so cool that there isn't the slightest chance it is going to fail....other days I am panic stricken that we are on the edge of a cliff and the slightest breeze will send us tumbling over.

Today we are struggling to stay positive. 

Time stands still when you are developing an internet startup company.  Days go by, weeks, months and progress is soooooo slow.  Staying positive is such a drain on the emotions - really hard work.....then, just as we are starting to feel as though all the air in our balloon has slowly leaked out, something magical happens - huge bursts of growth, excitement, and giant leaps forward.

I still can't tell whether this phenomenon is a blessing or a curse.  Only time will tell.  Not knowing the answer may be the greatest challenge of all.  We are raw, vulnerable, and scared. 

The Long and Winding Road.

There's no simple way to break this news to you....it's going to be really hard to survive the emotional rollercoaster you are embarking on as your partner goes down this startup road.  It's bleak!

I found a way to beat the blues - I found a totally depressing/inspiring blog that details the life of a young family with major health issues....every time I'm getting down on this startup life, I check out the blog and it makes my little financial/marital problems seem so trivial!

The Real Deal

My husband had a comfortable life.....loving family, huge house, fat paychecks and all the perks that come with that life...but he gave it all up - risked it all for his "vision".  An Internet Startup that would change the world as we know it.

What's a girl to do when her main man suddenly wakes up one day (at 4 am) to announce that he has had a life-changing dream (no, not the usual x-rated one).  He is as sure as he has ever been about anything else in his life and suddenly his life goal became clear.  Quit the big-ass job, give up a semi-retired existence to work 7 days a week (18 hour days), spend the entire savings, slowly sell off every asset accumulated with said big-ass job, risk losing everything and everyone.....sounds so great, right?!?!? 

There are so many reasons why a grown man supporting a family should not embark on this journey - it should be left to those newbies right out of college (or even high school these days).....raising a family and living like a college student (think milk crate boxes for shelving alternatives) is a challenge to put it mildly!

It's been 5 years....still working it......