The Sweet Spot

I Hate This Internet Startup!

 I read a funny letter my friend wrote about motherhood and had to edit it to fit my present feelings about the startup life - couldn't resist!!

I hate my life. I hate my husband, I hate my house, I hate my car, I hate my husband's late night vision that led us down this road of ditching a great job for the seductive lure of an Internet startup company.

I hate my unstable financial status, the broken knob on my front door and the fact that my office  doubles as the kitchen table. I hate the pile of useless pieces of paper piled up on the side of my couch. I hate the piles of bills that are stacking up on my desk.

I hate that we haven't been on a real vacation in 2 years, and I hate that stupid theory that budgeting makes one feel better. I hate ABC. I hate all the networks for that matter. I hate Fox the most, and I hate listening to all the depressing news about the recession.  I hate NYC cabdrivers who keep complaining that they can't pay their rent.

I hate that there are no more manicures, facials and frivolous spending. I hate that I never have any extra money. I hate that it costs 100+ bucks just for a simple family outing to a cheap restaurant or a movie. I hate that the babysitter upped her fee to 20 bucks per hour due to the recession.

I hate the VC company that signed an LOI and gave us false hope only to fail to invest on the promised date.  I hate potential investors who string us along promising lots of cash only to fail to "Show Me The Money".  I hate that hubby keeps believing these investors over and over again.  I hate that we fight all the time about investors.  I hate that we fight all the time about this startup company.  I hate this Internet startup world.  I hate that I have lost the ability to celebrate every positive step forward.

Most of all, I hate myself for even thinking all of these things. I hate that even for a second I can be so selfish and self-absorbed and self-important that I don't appreciate having a husband who loves me, three smart, funny and healthy kids, friends who care about me, a loyal dog, renting a fine home, driving a decent car, enjoying good health, having nice clean clothes to wear and food on the table, living where there are trees and fresh air and beautiful beaches, and having the freedom to bitch about God, the President, or whomever.

The circle is complete.

Faith, Hope & Pixiedust

 I watched Peter Pan and couldn't shake the words of tinker bell from my brain - those 3 words....faith, hope & pixie-dust.....that should be the motto of startup companies.  You have to throw all caution to the wind and have faith that it's all going to work out, trust what people are telling you (this part gets harder and harder as people rarely tell the honest truth in this business), and if only there were such a thing as pixie-dust that could perform miracles!!!  I've learned to relax and pray, A LOT!!!  This business mixes reality and fantasy more than most businesses and if you're going to survive the journey you need to give in to the fantasy.

His Life Belongs to the Startup

The calm before the storm.....2 days to launch and all is well.  The developers are promising to have the new site up and running on Friday.  After all this time we simply don't believe it - we are anxious, excited and nervous.

There's not a lot of talk right now with hubby, all energy is focused on unveiling the "vision".  We've rid our lives of all "crutches" in the past month as the countdown got closer - no alcohol to numb the feelings, no caffeine to rev up the feelings, healthy eating and lifestyle to stay focused and attentive to the business at hand. It's a surreal moment in time.   If hubby isn't working, he's working out (keeping the brain and body active).  If he's with us, he's texting/talking on his phone to his peeps.  His life belongs to the startup.  Friday can't come soon enough! 

The Internet + Vision = The Pits

I started out sweet and naive....a few years in the internet startup arena and I'm cynical and cautious.

This business is filled with dreamers, scammers and bullies.  The vulnerability level is off-the-charts and you end up praying that the next person you deal with is The One Decent One in this seedy world.  Get ready to get tough!

Gambling + Addiction + Dreams = Startup.

My hubby has a nickname for me: PITS.....he came up with it last year after listening to my umpteenth lecture about how his vision was merely "Pie In The Sky" - so glad we can still laugh about it all! 

Welcome to The Sweet Spot!

Obscene amounts of disposable cash, luxury cars, exotic vacations, household staff, private school, country clubs and more?  NOT!!! 

Welcome to the real world of Internet Startup Companies (from a woman's point of view).....tune in daily for a small reality check.